Funny – $1,000 – page 10

Every time you say goodbye to someone, you must add 'Stay golden!' with a wink?

Your email signature for the next three months must be, 'Sent from my pet hamster's tiny keyboard.'?

Your goodbye to friends must always include the phrase, 'Stay funky, fresh, and hydrated!'?

Every time you order coffee, you must ask for "a tall cup of bean juice."?

Your standard greeting to anyone new must be, "Greetings, Earthling!" for the next six months?

Your standard goodbye to friends and family must always include a dramatic air-kiss gesture?

At every restaurant visit, you must loudly ask the server if they have a "secret menu for elite diners."?

Every time someone says your name, you must dramatically declare, "My name is not to be spoken so lightly!"?

For the next week, any beverage you drink must be consumed from a tiny teacup, regardless of what it is?

At your next three restaurant visits, you must sing 'Happy Birthday' to yourself before your food arrives?

For two weeks, at the end of every gym workout, you must declare 'Victory is mine!' loudly?

For one week, your outgoing voicemail message must be you dramatically singing a nursery rhyme?

For one week, every time you greet someone, you must do a tiny, exaggerated jazz hands gesture?

Your work email signature must be 'Sent from my secret lair of productivity!'?

When you leave a friend's house, you must always dramatically pause at the doorway and strike a superhero pose before exiting?

Your personal phone ringtone is permanently the 'Baby Shark' song?

Whenever you finish a conversation, you must end it by saying, "Catch you on the flip side!" for the rest of the week?

For your next three video calls, you must wear a brightly colored, oversized bow tie/hair bow?

Your email signature for one month must include "Sent from my smart toaster."?

Your default reaction to hearing good news must be an enthusiastic but slightly off-key yodel?