Awkward – Would You Take the Deal? – page 4

Your default reaction to any good news is to loudly say 'Wahoo!'?

At every grocery store checkout, you must loudly ask the cashier, 'Are these potatoes locally sourced by gnomes?'?

For one week, every time you mention the current weather, you must dramatically point at the sky?

For one month, every time you greet someone new, you must ask, 'Are you ready for some excellent vibes?'?

Whenever you're introduced to someone new, you must present them with an invisible business card with a theatrical flourish?

At every fast-food drive-thru, you must start your order by saying, 'Greetings, purveyor of fine sustenance!'?

At every restaurant visit, when the waiter asks 'How is everything?', you must respond with 'Peachy keen, jelly bean!'?

For one month, every time you meet someone new, you must introduce yourself by high-fiving them and saying, "Pleased to meet your acquaintance, human!"?

At every coffee shop you visit, you must order your drink with an imaginary fancy accent?

All your public payment card transactions require you to loudly announce, 'Engaging financial transaction protocol!'?

All your coffee orders require you to ask for a 'secret agent blend, shaken, not stirred,' regardless of what you actually want?

At every social gathering, you must introduce yourself to new people by saying, 'Greetings, fellow Earthling!'?

All your shirts must have a tiny, non-removable patch of a smiling avocado on them?

For one month, every time you end a conversation with a stranger, you must give them a dramatic thumbs up?

Whenever you walk through a doorway, you must pause and do a tiny, subtle curtsy or bow?

Whenever you go to a party, you must bring a single, raw potato as a host gift?

At every restaurant visit, you must ask if they have a 'secret menu for enlightened diners.'?

When introducing yourself to someone new, you must always add, "and yes, I am this fabulous."?

At every restaurant visit, you must ask if they have a "secret dessert menu for adventurers."?

Every time you pay for something, you have to dramatically whisper "Money talks!" to the cashier?