Funny – $1,000 – page 6

Your phone's autocorrect automatically changes 'yes' to 'affirmative, captain!' in all your messages?

All your shirts must have a tiny, non-removable patch of a smiling avocado on them?

Whenever you go to a party, you must bring a single, raw potato as a host gift?

When introducing yourself to someone new, you must always add, "and yes, I am this fabulous."?

Whenever you put on socks, you must dramatically announce, "Socks are on, world beware!"?

At every restaurant visit, you must ask if they have a "secret dessert menu for adventurers."?

Your phone's lock screen background must be a picture of a random vegetable for one month?

Every time you pay for something, you have to dramatically whisper "Money talks!" to the cashier?

For the next three weeks, all your shirts must be worn inside out when you leave the house?

For three months, every time you pass a mirror, you must dramatically wink at your reflection?

At every restaurant or cafe you visit, your first drink order must be 'the Sparkle Pop'?

For the next month, every time you greet someone, you must precede it with two loud claps?

All your coffee orders must include asking for 'extra zest' without explanation?

For one month, every time you sit down on a soft surface (couch, bed), you must sigh dramatically as if you've had the hardest day ever?

Whenever you say goodbye to anyone, you must say 'Stay funky, fresh, and hydrated!' instead of your usual farewell?

Your phone wallpaper must be a stock photo of a happy family holding hands at the beach for one month?

At every restaurant visit, you must stand up and loudly declare your meal is "chef's kiss!" regardless of how it tastes?

Whenever a baby cries within earshot in public, you must immediately exclaim, "Oh, such a precious wittle cutie-patootie!"?

When entering any public store for the next month, you must dramatically scan the ceiling as if searching for a hidden camera?

Your order at every sit-down restaurant must begin with, "What's the best thing on the secret menu for awesome people?"?