Funny – $1,000 – page 5

For one month, every time you say goodbye to someone, you must finish with a quick, exaggerated jazz hand flourish?

Every time you pour a drink, you must dramatically raise the glass like a toast before drinking?

Your group chat nickname for all your friends must be 'The Snack Commander'?

At every party you attend, you must bring a small, slightly bruised apple as your contribution?

Your default reaction to any good news is to loudly say 'Wahoo!'?

Every time you board public transport, you must loudly announce 'All aboard the fun train!'?

Your primary social media profile picture must be a photoshopped image of you riding a majestic goose for one month?

For one week, every time you mention the current weather, you must dramatically point at the sky?

For one month, every time you greet someone new, you must ask, 'Are you ready for some excellent vibes?'?

Whenever you're introduced to someone new, you must present them with an invisible business card with a theatrical flourish?

At every fast-food drive-thru, you must start your order by saying, 'Greetings, purveyor of fine sustenance!'?

For three months, your phone's autocorrect will change 'no problem' to 'no problemo!'?

At every restaurant visit, when the waiter asks 'How is everything?', you must respond with 'Peachy keen, jelly bean!'?

For one month, every time you meet someone new, you must introduce yourself by high-fiving them and saying, "Pleased to meet your acquaintance, human!"?

Your phone's autocorrect always changes "lol" to "laughing maniacally"?

At every coffee shop you visit, you must order your drink with an imaginary fancy accent?

All your public payment card transactions require you to loudly announce, 'Engaging financial transaction protocol!'?

For one month, every time you open your refrigerator, a 5-second carnival music jingle plays loudly?

All your coffee orders require you to ask for a 'secret agent blend, shaken, not stirred,' regardless of what you actually want?

At every social gathering, you must introduce yourself to new people by saying, 'Greetings, fellow Earthling!'?